Miserable At Best
by KDMarie
Summary: Season 3 with a twist. Blair has decided to attend Brown University with Serena forcing her and Chuck to have a long distance relationship. This is a total C/B fic with some obvious bumps in the road. Some other characters as well. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- I got this idea for a story and decided to write it since I have lost inspiration for my other two. This might just a one-shot depending on the feedback I get for it. Everything up to season 2 has happened with the exception that Blair is attending school at Brown while Chuck is still in New York. **

---

"Chuck?" Blair choked out as she glared down at her boyfriend, Chuck Bass, sitting in a dark booth with girls on either side of him. Chuck looked up, with a smirk still on his face that instantly dropped catching her eyes.

"Blair…" he replied, pushing the girls of off him quickly and standing up. Blair's eyes quickly filled with tears as her heart began beating faster. "This isn't what it looks like," he tried to explain but she couldn't hear his excuses.

"I have to go," she whispered, turning on her heels and practically running out of the small club. Her heart was racing as the cold fall air hit her face and burned the wet tears. She looked through her blurry, wet eyes for a taxi as she made her way further away from the building.

"Blair!" Chuck called after her, running to catch up. "Baby…" He reached out and grabbed her elbow, causing her to come to a sudden stop.

"Don't," she yelled, pulling away quickly. "Don't touch me!" She was sobbing now, not even trying to hide the tears as they trailed down her face, leaving her cheeks black with mascara streaks. Although she wanted to run she couldn't. His eyes were the same eyes that she remembered seeing the night his father had died. Broken eyes. Chuck stood staring at her unable to even speak a word of justification. "Why?" Blair finally asked, wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. "You really couldn't wait a few weeks without getting you sex fix?" Her voice was shaky and is caused Chuck's heart to shatter. But he was Chuck Bass and he didn't know how to apologize like any man in their right mind would have after being caught with two girls who were not their amazing girlfriend.

"You're one to talk!" he shot back coldly. "Do you know how many times I've called you these past two weeks and you were no where to be found? Or how many times I sat in front of my computer waiting for you for our iChat nights and your away message said you were 'out with the roomies.'"

"Seriously Bass? You're going to spin this on me because I was trying to make friends at school?" she quickly replied, her sadness turning into anger.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't know making friends at school meant completely ignoring your boyfriend. My bad, _Waldorf_." Her last name slipped of his tongue like daggers reminding her of way they used to hurt each other.

"You always called when I was in class! This isn't high school Chuck. I can't just walk out of class to talk to you!" she defended. Chuck rolled his eyes, looking away. He knew she was right but it didn't make her recent absence any easier. "I should go," she whispered blinking back the final straw tears. "I drove all the way here on the spur of the moment and I'm exhausted." Chuck studied her face, knowing her words were true. She looked more then just exhausted, she looked drained.

"Why did you come here?" Chuck asked, not wanting her to leave.

"Come here? To this shit hole bar you decided to pick up girls at?" she asked, motioning towards the building. "I went to your office first and they said you were here doing business. I didn't know Bass Industries was expanding to whores."

"No, I meant why did you come back to New York? You weren't planning on coming home until next weekend." Blair looked at him for a moment before looking towards the ground.

"I came to see my boyfriend who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. I thought I would drive home and spend an amazing night with him. I just didn't know he'd be so busy." Her response was harsh and filled with emotion. Chuck nodded, reaching out for her hand.

"Then lets do that. We can go back to my place and we can rent Breakfast at Tiffany's…" Chuck started but Blair cut him off.

"Oh right, we can go back to the place I'm sure you were working on taking those two girls back to," she replied a pathetic smiling coming across her face. "No thanks, Chuck."

"Baby, it wasn't like that. Those girls back there are part of a business deal I'm working on. I swear on everything I wasn't planning on taking them back…" he explained, still holding her hand. Blair looked at their entwined fingers, tears filling her eyes again slowly.

"I don't know if I can trust you," she whispered. Chuck nodded, rubbing her hand slowly.

"And I understand that. I've done a lot of things in the past that would make you not trust me. But I changed. I said those three words, eight letters to you Blair and I will never say them to anyone else as long as I live," he told her, reaching up and whipping her tears with his thumb.

"But that doesn't mean that you weren't planning on sleeping with them Chuck. I know sex isn't about love for you." Chuck shook his head, pushing her chin up to look at her.

"You changed that about me. Sex is not just sex anymore Blair. It's something so special and so amazing that I get to share with you. You are the only girl I ever will or want to have sex with. Those girls mean nothing and are just pawns in a deal. Blair, I swear." He told her, his lips inches away from her face. Her eyes locked with his and she couldn't help but be swept up in his words.

"Promise, it's just us…Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck," she asked, needing the reassurance.

"It's just us baby. Me and you. I've been miserable at best without you here baby, " he whispered, his lips finally meeting hers. He kissed her softly, the taste of her salty tears filling with the sweetness that was Blair. He hated that he had put those tears in her eyes to begin with. "Let's go back to my place," he whispered, pulling out his phone to call the driver.

---

What do you guys think? Should I just leave it as a one-shot or continue? I have a few ideas for a story about Blair and Chuck's relationship with her away at school and thought this might be a good start to it! Please review! Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

Blair watched Chuck as he slept, his face so innocent and sweet. She smiled, thinking of all the summer nights they spent lying in each others arms, making promises for the impending school year.

"_Nothing will change between us"_

"_We're stronger then ever"_

"_I will always be here"_

She wondered is he had even believed those words when he said them or if they were just to give her a false sense of security when she was freaking about moving away. It had been hard to leave the UES and Chuck. Serena had decided to also go to Brown and she knew that without her bestfriend there she would not have made the final decision to go. But she knew that she needed experience the college life. Chuck had driven her up to Brown and helped her move in. Her and Serena had decided not to live together because they both wanted to meet new people and let college be everything it should be but they lived on the same floor, a comfort Blair took advantage of.

Chuck hadn't stayed very long on move in day. Just long enough to watch her unpack a few boxes, meet her two roommates and get a quick tour of Blair's new campus. He insisted it was because he wanted her to go meet everyone and not spend her first day in her room with him.

"_I love Blair. I'll see you in 2 weeks," he whispered, kissing her forehead softly. Blair hugged him tighter, not wanting this moment to end. "Don't cry," Chuck told her, wiping the tears away. "There is nothing sad about this. You should be excited."_

"_I am but I am going to miss you so much." Her buried her head in his chest and cried softly, really not wanting to say goodbye. "What if we really aren't ready for the distance. Maybe I should have just gone to NYU so we could be close," she told him, looking up. The sun was hitting his dark eyes and she tried to smile. _

"_Blair distance is not going to break us. We will talk everyday and text and iChat every night. You're going to have fun and make so many new friends," he replied, kissing her lips softly. "I will call you when I get back to New York. Now go back up to your room and mingle. Show them who their new queen is" He smiled at her, watching as her lips too formed a smile. _

"_I'm going to miss you." She kissed him again, touching his face softly. _

"_I will see you in 2 weeks. I'll send a car for you and we can spend the entire weekend in my suite." Blair nodded, pulling out of his embrace. _

"_Bye Chuck." She let go of his hand slowly and he smiled, nodding his head. He turned and walked towards the limo waiting. Tears slowly ran down her cheeks watching him get in and take off. _

It had been almost 2 months since Blair had moved into her dorm at Brown. She came home 2 weeks after move in day and noticed a slight change in Chuck but wrote it off as him just being busy with his new responsibilities at Bass Industries. They had stayed at his suite just like her promised and it was even harder for her to leave that Sunday night. She knew she wouldn't be able to come home for almost 3 weeks because of her busy schedule but he promised to try and come visit her during the week. It never happened though. Each week it was another excuse as to why he couldn't make the trip up and she had begun to get worried. That was why she decided to surprise him this weekend instead of waiting until next.

Blair rolled over in bed and climbed out slowly, not wanting to wake Chuck up. She crept over to her overnight bag and grabbed her laptop, heading towards the living room. She sat down on the couch and opened her computer, a photo of her and Chuck smiling popping up on her screen. She smiled, clicking on her iChat icon. Her roommate, Sophie messaged her right away.

**SoHoChiC789:** Blaaaaair! We miss you!

**BlAiRbEar:** aww! I miss you girlies too! What are you guys doing tonight?

**SoHoChiC789:** We are about to head down to Greek Row! I wish you were here!! How's NY??

**BlAiRbEar: **It's great. I just got back a few hours ago and went to see Chuck right away =]

**SoHoChiC789:** That's cool! It's so cool that you two are staying together! I wish me and Jason had been strong like that! lol

**BlAiRbEar: **lol yeah. Me and Chuck can get through anything.

Blair stared the words she had spoken and wondered if she really believed them herself.

**SoHoChiC789:** Well sorry so short! We're leaving! Serena is TRASHED! Lol! See you on Sunday lovey!

**BlAiRbEar: **K! Have fun and be safe!

"They can't go 24 hours without their Blair bear huh?" Chuck asked coming up behind her and leaving over her from behind the couch. He kissed the top of her hair softly and let his hands fall to her neck, massaging them slowly.

"Sorry, you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you," she whispered leaning her head back and looking up at him. He smiled, leaning down and kissing her softly.

"And what are the girls up to tonight?" He asked coming around to take a seat next to her. Blair closed her laptop and turned so she was facing him.

"I think they're going to the Frats tonight," she answered leaning her head into his shoulder.

"The Frats huh?" he asked, more or less stating his dislike that she might ever go there.

"Yeah. That's where all the parties are. I'm thinking about pledging for a sorority but I haven't decided yet." She informed him, placing her leg over his and cuddling closer. Chuck nodded, placing his hand on top of her head and playing with her hair. "I'm really hungry," she laughed as her stomach let out a loud growl. Chuck laughed too, standing up and pulling her to her feet.

"What you in the mood for baby?" He asked walking towards the kitchen. "I don't have much but we might be able to find something" Blair followed behind him and took a seat on the barstool.

"I'm not picky. Anything is better then what they feed us at school" she replied watching as he opened the fridge.

"How about Chicken and salad? I have leftovers from last night" He took the take out box out and place it in front of her.

"You went out for dinner last night?" She asked opening the box slowly. Chuck nodded, handing her a fork. "With who?" her voice hinting with jealousy.

"Lily and Rufus" he replied leaning on the counter.

"Oh, how are they?" she asked her cheeks turning red with embarrassment. Chuck smiled, taking a bite of the salad himself.

"They are good. Lily misses Serena and doesn't understand how my girlfriend finds time to come visit but her daughter can't," he informed her.

"Yeah. S is really take in the college experience." Blair said raising her eyebrows. "It's like high school Serena with a little bit more alcohol and plenty more guys." Chuck shrugged looking up at her.

"As long as she isn't having any bad influences on my Blair," he stated watching for her response. She shook her head no, chewing her food.

"I go out Chuck but I barely drink and I'm always the first one back. My heart isn't at Brown it's here…" she whispered reaching out to touch his face. "It's with you." Chuck smiled taking her hand into his.

"I'm glad."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Thank you for the reviews. I will say that I know nothing about Brown the depiction of her time there will not be accurate, only fictional. I went to a private university and it was a very big party school so that is where I will be getting my inspiration for her campus life. Thanks and please continue to review! =]

"I don't want to go," Blair whispered, caressing Chuck's face slowly as she laid on top of him.

"You have to though and you will be back next weekend. That's only 4 days without me," he replied, touching her lips with his finger.

"4 days to long." She leaned down and met his lips with hers causing her heart to flutter. "I love you Chuck Bass," she moaned feeling his body shift under her weight.

"And I love you," he replied between kisses. He ran his hands over her hips and pushed her up, rolling on top of her.

"Go back with me for the night. I can get you a guest pass and you can sleep in my dorm," she begged, answering his kisses with her own. "Please?" Chuck looked down at her and sighed, rolling off of her but taking her hand into his.

"You have class in the morning. I'd rather come and visit you on the weekend when you aren't so busy," he replied kissing the top of her hand softly. Blair frowned, looking away and out the large glass window. "You're upset," he stated pushing himself up to his elbows to look at her better.

"I just want you to come out and stay one night. Why is that so much to ask?" she told him, trying to not make eye contact. She hated when he got to see the vulnerable side of her.

"I will come Blair. Just not when you have to do homework and go to class in the morning," he replied placing his finger under her chin. "I promise."

"Come today. Please. I don't have class until 1:30 tomorrow. You can even stay for dinner or for two nights. I just want you there." Chuck groaned, flopping back on the pillow. "Fine, don't." Blair climbed off the bed and grabbed her jacket. "Nice seeing you," she whispered, fighting back the shakiness in her voice.

"Blair… wait," Chuck called after her, meeting her in the hallway. "I'll go," he told her. Blair's sad expression quickly changed into a huge grin.

"Really?" She asked, skeptical of his sudden change of heart.

"Yeah. I'll stay tonight and tomorrow night. Just let me pack a bag," he told her, kissing her forehead.

---

"Jesus Blair!" Chuck yelled as Blair turned into the parking space quickly. He reached for the handle and pushed down on his invisible break. Blair hadn't driven much in the city because she was able to take taxi's and limos everywhere but now that she was away at school her mom had purchased her a brand new 2010 Lexus Convertible.

"What?" Blair asked, looking over at Chuck's horrified face.

"I think you might have hit something back there," Chuck replied, his heart finally coming back down into his chest. "You are the worst driver I've ever been in the car with," he said firmly, opening the car door and climbing out. Blair pouted, taking her seat belt off and grabbing her purse.

"I am not!" she shot back, climbing out of the car and walking around to the trunk to grab her bag. Chuck stepped in front of her, wrapping his arms around her and smiling at her.

"You really are," he whispered kissing her softly. "But it's kind of cute… in that I might actually die kind of way." Blair smiled, looking up at him.

"Thank you for coming back with me. I really want to share my new life with you," she replied pulling his face back down to hers. She kissed him deeply, not wanting the sweet moment to end.

"B!!!" Serena shouted, running up behind them. She grabbed Blair and spun her around, hugging her closely. "Chuck? What the hell are you doing here?" she asked, reaching for him too. Chuck looked at Blair and rolled his eyes, embracing her.

"Chuck finally agreed to come visit me for a few days," Blair replied with a beaming expression on her face. Chuck nodded, smiling at how happy she was. He grabbed her bag out of the trunk and started following the girls to their building. "Here we are!" Blair said cheerfully, putting her key in the door. "It's so different from last time you saw it! We cleaned and decorated it really nice."

"Oh my god!" Sophie screamed, quickly pulling the covers over herself and the guy in her bed. "Blair, I didn't know you were coming back so early" she laughed, peeking out from under the covers.

"I'm so sorry!" Blair replied, shouting the door with embarrassment. Chuck raised his eyebrow at her before smiling.

"That was welcoming," he stated, leaning against the wall. Blair nodded, trying to hide how embarrassed she was. "Blush much Waldorf?" he asked slightly amused. "We could have at least given a better show. He was doing it all wrong. You gotta…" Blair cut him off with a smack to the chest. "I'm just saying." Chuck laughed, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. The door opened and Sophie stepped out, fully dressed now.

"I am so sorry Blair! It's safe to come in," she told them, stepping aside for them to enter. Blair smiled, taking Chuck's hand and leading him into the room. "Good to see you again Chuck," Sophie said closing the door behind her.

"As it is to see you," Chuck replied looking around Blair's room. It was tiny in size but even he had to admit they had fixed it up quite nicely.

"We were going to go to the café if you two want to come," Sophie said grabbing her wristlet off the bed. Blair looked at Chuck before answering.

"Uhm. I don't know. Chuck do you want to see what the food here is like? Or did you just want to grab dinner at a restaurant?" she asked. Chuck shrugged, feeling put on the spot. He had no interest in eating what college students called food. He had partied at Dartmouth enough to know it wasn't quit up to his standards. But the look in Blair's eyes showed she was excited to share every bit of her new on campus life with him.

"That's fine," he replied passively.

"Let me go get Serena then!" Sophie said heading out into the hall, her male companion following behind her.

"We don't have to if you don't want to," Blair told Chuck grabbing her id off her desk.

"No, it's fine," he told her, exhaling sharply.

---

Chuck and Blair laid close to one another on her twin sized mattress. Sophie had decided to spend the night with guy she had been with early. Chuck shifted his weight, trying his best not to move Blair.

"You asleep?" Blair asked softly.

"No," he replied, hit voice hinting at more annoyance they he meant.

"I'm sorry my bed is so small. I know you're not used to being so crammed." She told him, playing with the edge of the sheet.

"It's fine," he told her readjusting his position again.

"Is that going to be your answer for everything? It's fine?" She asked, rolling her eyes.

"You should be asleep Blair. You have class tomorrow," he told her. "How about I sleep on the floor so my moving around doesn't bother you." He sat up to get out of the bed but she stopped him.

"Chuck I'm not going to let you sleep on the floor. I want you in bed with me," she told him. He looked at her through the dark room. The moonlight splashed across her face and he could see her dark eyes watching him. Chuck laid back down and pulled Blair close to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and looked up at him. Even in the dark lighting she could tell his jaw was tight and he was frustrated with her. "You shouldn't have come if you really didn't want to" Blair finally spoke after awhile of silence.

"I wanted to come," chuck replied, his jaw still tight.

"Okay." Blair didn't sound very convinced and Chuck sighed, opening his eyes and watching as her cheeks slowly became wet.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, shifting himself so he was sitting over her. Blair shook her head, trying to turn away from him but he stopped her.

"I can tell you don't want to be here. You don't like the food, or my roommate. You hate this small bed and tiny living quarters. It's not Bass enough for you," she cried, trying to wipe her tears.

"Baby, I wanted to come. It's just…" he paused, looking away and exhaling. "It's hard to be here with you knowing you're building this new life and I'm back in New York. It brings out these insecurities I never knew existed. What if you decide that you don't want to be with me after you meet some suave Brown guy. I feel threatened by you building a life that I'm not a part of."

"Chuck…" Blair whispered, sniffling. She touched his face and his smiled sweetly. "I have waited to long for anything to ruin what you and I finally have. I'll admit I'm excited to experience college life but it wouldn't be worth it if I didn't think we'd still be together in the end." Her words eased Chuck's tension as he stared down at her. "Say something," she told him, feeling his intense stare.

"I love you," he spoke softly, kissing her lips.


	4. Chapter 4

"Lily really misses you. It wouldn't hurt you to come home once in awhile," Chuck told Serena as they ate lunch in the cafeteria. Blair had class until 4 and Serena had begged him to hang out with her.

"I just haven't had the time really. I've been busy most weekends," Serena replied taking a bite out of her sandwich. Chuck nodded slowly, raising his eyebrow.

"Busy drinking and partying with guys isn't an excuse to not see your mother. Go home with Blair this weekend, I'm sure Eric would love to see you too." Serena sighed, playing with her napkin.

"I don't really want to go home, Chuck. Besides my family there is nothing for me there." Dan and Serena had decided to not be together anymore, again, and she felt like everything at home would just remind her of the failed relationship.

"Do as you wish but I think both Lily and Eric would love to see you every once in a blue mood," Chuck replied pushing his plate away from him. He was hungry but couldn't bring himself to eat the food he was being served. He didn't understand how anyone could live off this stuff.

"Not everyone is Blair," Serena shot back rolling her eyes.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Blair hates being here without you, it's all we ever hear about. I don't have someone like that back home and I don't wish to rehash how my ex boyfriend's dad is planning on marrying my mother." Serena gathered her left over lunch and stood, Chuck following her.

"I was just saying…" Chuck told her, following her out of the cafeteria and back towards the dorm building.

"Hey! Serena!" a guy called from behind them.

"Mikey! How are you?" she screeched, putting her arms out for a hug. They embraced as Chuck watched them carefully.

"How are you?" He asked finally looking over at Chuck then back to Serena.

"I'm good! Great party this weekend!" she replied brushing her hair off her face.

"Yeah it was pretty amazing. Too bad your friend didn't come this time. She was the life of the party last weekend," he told her, smirking. Chuck raised his eyebrow eyeing him more intensely now. Serena's eyes bounced to Chuck then back to Mikey.

"Yeah, B went home to visit her boyfriend… Which this is actually him. This is Chuck Bass," Serena told him, her voice wavered as she introduced the two.

"Nice to meet you man," Mikey said sticking his hand to Chuck. He could feel Mikey sizing Chuck up, probably wondering what Blair saw in him.

"You too," Chuck replied taking his hand briefly before pulling his phone out and texting his assistant at Bass Industries.

**Send a limo to Brown. Plans changed. Coming back tonight.**

---

Blair could barely concentrate in her class as she gazed out the window anxiously waiting to be back with Chuck. The second the instructor dismissed them for the day, reminding them of their exam on Wednesday, Blair was racing across campus back to her room. She swung the door open and froze, finding Chuck with his bag packed waiting at her desk. "What's going on?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"I have to go back early. Seems without me in New York Bass Industries falls apart," he explained, watching as her expression fell. She looked as if she was about to cry and it caused his heart to twinge. She stared at him through watery eyes but said nothing. He stood up, placing his hands on her hips and pulling her into his chest. "You will see me on Friday Blair, there is no reason for the tears. I came out and stayed one night like you had asked. I had fun and I will make plans to come out in a few weeks." He kissed her forehead and then looked down, their foreheads touching. Blair nodded, trying to wipe her tears away.

"I was just excited about dinner. I was going to take you to this really good Italian place," she finally spoke, her voice shaking as her tears still fell. "But I understand. You have responsibilities to Bass Industries." She wrapped her arms around his and held on. "I'm going to miss you." Her tears seemed to speed up and while she felt silly for her emotional outburst she also felt sad knowing he had to leave and she wouldn't see him until Friday.

"I know baby, I'm going to miss you too. But we will see each other on Friday and you can text me whenever you want. Are you free tomorrow night for an iChat?" he asked, pulling out of her tight embrace and cupping her face in his hand. Blair nodded, wiping her tears. "I love you so much baby, don't ever forget that," he told her, kissing her lips softly.

"I love you too Chuck," she replied.

---

Chuck arrived at the Van Der Bass penthouse that evening and threw his bag on his bed, heading straight for the shower. He had lied to Blair and for the first time in his life he felt guilty about it. Watching out the limo window as she hugged Serena, crying when his limo pulled off broke his heart. He knew he had made a mistake. He should have stayed like he said he would but she seemed to understand. It was part of business and if the roles were reversed I would have understood. After his shower, he got dressed and made his way back down to the limo. He needed to have a few drinks and on his way back to New York Nate had texted him asking if he wanted to met up. Nate had said he was around for the evening and would love to catch up if Chuck was free. He climbed in the limo and his phone went off.

**S: **

**B's been really sad since u left. Hope u left for the right reasons Bass. **

Chuck signed, hitting delete and opening a new text.

**C:**

**I just got home. Miss u so much. I love u. Wat r u doing 2nt?**

**B:**

**I have homework.**

Her text was short and to the point and it made Chuck regret even more leaving.

**C:**

**Okay. Call me tomorrow morning when u wake up. **

She never responded to his text causing Chuck to be not only disappointed in himself but also frustrated with her as well.

---

Blair was half asleep when her pone played throughout her room. She quickly grabbed it, trying to avoid waking up Sophie and pressed accept to the text.

**GG:**

**Spotted, C rushing back to New York and meeting up with N. Trouble in paradise B? And it seems our favorite party girl has found her place at Brown. Just be careful S, we'd hate to see a repeat of sophomore year. You know you love me. XoXo**

Blair's heart sank as she read the text. Chuck had said he needed to leave for business. Was meeting Nate part of Bass Industries or was he lying? Had he been lying Friday then too about the two girls? Tears quickly filled her eyes as she rolled over, trying to muffle her sobs in her pillow.

---

Chuck grabbed his phone and read the gossip girl blast drunkenly, laughing as Nate did the same.

"Looks like you might be in the dog house with B," Nate said closing his phone and taking another sip of his drunk. Chuck nodded, holding his drink up to Nate.

"She doesn't need me there. She is making friends quit nicely without me," Chuck replied bitterness filling his voice.

"You don't think Blair would actually have done anything crazy at that party do you? I mean, it's Blair Waldorf. She's not one for being involved in the wild stuff," Nate asked watching as his bestfriend shrugged. Chuck thought back to the night at his club. He had never expected her to get up on stage and dance but she let go of her normal reserved self and did. It was hard for him to put it past her to do the same at school.

"You never know. And plus, Serena isn't the best of influences on her," Chuck reminded him. Nate nodded taking out his cell phone and opening a new text to Blair. Even though Chuck seemed so sure that Blair was doing fine at school he knew that she wouldn't be. She hated trying to find her place in new situations and having the man she loved so far away had to be making it even worse.

**N:  
Don't worry about the GG blast. I am out with Chuck discussing business. I want to intern at Bass Industries. He's missing you just as much as I know you're missing him.**

He sent the text then looked up at Chuck, whose eyes were fixated on something to the right of them. Nate followed his stare to a tall blonde girl at the bar eyeing them. "Chuck," Nate said breaking his bestfriends hold on the woman.

"I'm just looking Archibald," Chuck replied with a shit ass grin on face. Nate sighed, looking down at his phone as it lit up.

**B:**

**U swear? Plz don't lie 4 him. **

Nate's heart skipped a few beats as the lies spilled out through his fingers, something he was used to when dating her.

**N:**

**I swear. **

"You texting a new girl or something over there?" Chuck asked noticing Nate's distracted glance.

"Actually I'm saving your ass," he replied closing his phone and signaling for another drink. "So if B asks we're here meeting about me interning at Bass Industries."

"She texted you to see what I was doing?" Chuck asked, annoyed that Blair would try to keep tabs on him. Nate shook his head no.

"I texted her. Come on man you know the distance is going to end up driving her nuts and she will probably drop out of Brown by December. Don't give her more reasons to speed her departure." Nate said looking annoyed.

---

It was finally Friday and Blair had convinced Serena to ride home with her for the weekend. Blair was nervous about her visit home because things between her Chuck didn't get much better during the week. He was often busy when she would call and sounded distracted, asking her to repeat things over and over. He had also been working late nights and missed several of their iChat dates. Blair had decided to go out on Thursday with everyone from her floor and despite her best effort to let go and enjoy herself she ended up still being the first one back and cried herself to sleep. She was beginning to hate everything about Brown.

"So I know that you're really excited to spend time with Chuck but some of the girls and I were planning a night out tonight since we'll all be back in town. Maybe you and Chuck can come with. I think it might actually be fun," Serena told Blair as she pulled her car up to the Palace.

"Yeah, I'll have to ask Chuck," she said putting it in park.

"You coming up to see him now?" Serena asked grabbing her bag from the backseat. Blair hesitated but shook her head no.

"I'd like to go home and see my mom and stuff first. I'll probably come over later," Blair answered looking forward. Serena frowned but nodded.

"Okay, I'll see ya later," she told her climbing out. She watched as Blair's car sped off toward her apartment before turning and walking into the Palace. She got into the elevator and watched as the numbers proceeded to the Penthouse. It rang and the door opened. She took a deep breath and walked in.

"Serena, it's so good to see you," Lily said, waiting for her in the living room. Serena smiled, actually feeling good about her decision to come home. She hugged her mom close before pulling away.

"It's good to be home," Serena said sitting down next to her.

"Well, tell me everything. What is your room like? How is your roommate? And your classes?" Lily was excited to get all the details. Chuck walked into the living room from his room and came up behind the couch.

"Is Blair here?" He asked, almost expecting her to have came up. Serena shook her head trying to look away. She was well aware of their relationship problems and refused to take his side.

"She wanted to see her mom," Serena said simple, turning her attention back to Lily. She began answering all her mom's questions while watching Chuck grab his coat out of the corner of her eye.

---

Blair arrived home to an empty penthouse and her heart sunk when she found the note from her mom lying on her bed.

_Blair,_

_  
Welcome home. I hope school is going well. I was called to an emergency in France this weekend but should be home before you leave Sunday. I put some money in the jar if you want to order in._

_Love,_

_Mom_

Blair felt tears welding up in her eyes as she read it. She had actually been looking forward to seeing her mom and possibly doing a girls weekend. She crumpled up the note and threw it in the garbage, collapsing on her bed. She looked up when there was a knock at her door. "Miss Blair, I take your dirty clothes and wash them?" Dorota asked. Blair nodded, getting up and grabbing her laundry bag. She refused to do laundry at school so it was overflowing.

"Thanks," Blair replied handing it to her. Dorota smiled, struggling to hold the bag up.

"I make dinner at 6." She said before exiting the room. Blair frowned, looking around her room. The security it used to bring seemed to have faded. Her eyes fell on a picture of her and Chuck from the past summer in the Hamptons. She smiled, picking up the picture and running her finger over Chuck's face. She felt tears begin to slip from her eyes and trail down her cheeks. She was beginning to regret going away to school and would not sacrifice her relationship with him to get a good education. She put the picture down and made her way into the bathroom, hoping a warm bath would change her saddened mood.

**A/N- thanks for the reviews!!! Please continue to let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N-** **Thank you so much for the reviews, I'm glad that you're enjoying it! Please read and review!**

---

Chuck waited as the elevator to the Waldorf penthouse went up. He looked at himself in the mirrored doors and fixed his tie. He fixed the flowers in his hand and exhaled sharply. For some reason he was nervous about seeing Blair after his antics over the past week. The elevator rang and the door opened. He walked in and noticed right away it was unusually dark. "Blair?" he called out, walking towards the staircase. Dorota came rushing around the corner smiling.

"Mr. Chuck, Miss Blair out," she told him. Chuck's heart dropped, giving her a questioning look. "Miss Serena and Miss Blair just left to go to party," she explained.

"Thanks," Chuck replied, turning around slowly and looking down at the flowers. He pulled out his cell phone and stepped into the elevator.

**C:**

**Glad you came home and get to see who you really care most about. Have a nice night. **

He stepped out of the elevator and headed towards his limo, throwing the flowers in the garbage outside her building.

---

Blair was shit-faced for the first time since she had moved to Brown. Serena convinced her to go to the party to see everyone who was home for the weekend and she just needed an escape from everything between her and Chuck. The room was spinning as Blair danced around with Serena, guys on either side trying to get in on the action. Serena giggled, grabbing Blair's hand and pulling her off towards the kitchen. "I need a cigarette!" Serena yelled over the music. "Come with me!"

"Wait! S! I don't know where my cell phone is!" Blair laughed, nearly falling over.

"I think you left it in the limo, now come on!" Serena opened the sliding glass door and stepped out onto the balcony overlooking the city. "God I miss this!" she screamed pulling her arms out, leaning over the railing.

"S!" Blair yelled, grabbing her arm. "Be careful." Serena nodded, coming back and lighting her cigarette. She held them out to Blair and smirked.

"Try it B. It will put your buzz over the top," she told her. Blair looked at them and scrunched her nose. She never smoked except for once and she hated it. But tonight was about letting go. She reached and pulled one out, putting it in her mouth and letting Serena light it up.

"Thanks," Blair said, taking a small drag. It hit the back of her lungs and to her surprise didn't make her choke or gag. She smiled, taking another drag, feeling the buzz quickly go through her veins.

"Told you," Serena said putting her arm around her shoulders and pulling her in close. "I love you, B!" She kissed Blair on the cheek and took a drag of her own cigarette. Blair smiled, feeling the love in Serena's embrace. The two had been through so much but nothing was ever able to tear them apart.

"I love you too, S" Blair replied, closing her eyes.

---

Chuck's phone rang throughout his room, waking him from his deep sleep. He groaned, looking at it. **Nate**. "Archibald, it is 4 am. Why the hell are you calling me?" he moaned, his head falling back down to the pillow.

"Chuck, I just got a call from S. She's really upset because Blair got super trashed at some party and the limo is running late," Nate informed him. Chuck didn't even move as he replied.

"What Blair does is no longer by business. She made that very apparent tonight."

"Bass what the hell is wrong with you? She is clearly crying out for your attention. And ya know what man? If you don't give it to her I will. I will go to the party and get her and bring her back her and be there for her. Because I care about her and I let go of my feelings because I thought you were the guy for her. Maybe that was a mistake." Chuck sat up in bed quickly.

"I'll go get her," he spoke, his tone distant. He hung up and climbed out of bed, grabbing his jacket.

---

"B, just stay awake a little longer. The limo is almost here," Serena told her bestfriend as they sat outside the apartment waiting for the Bass limo. Blair's head bobbed, falling forward causing her whole body to go with it. Serena reached out and caught her, pulling her back up. "God I shouldn't have let you drink so much," she whispered to herself.

"I feel sick," Blair moaned, drunkly looking up at her. Serena learned Blair towards the bushes, looking away as Blair threw up for the 7th time in the past 40 minutes. "I'm sorry," Blair added, laughing as she leaned back up.

"This isn't your fault. I should have cut you off hours ago," Serena comforted her, rubbing her arms. "You're shivering," she realized. Blair had left her jacket in the limo and she was barely dressed for the late September weather. "The limo's here." She pulled Blair up, who only stumbled back to the ground, her bare knees scrapping the pavement.

"Ouch," Blair giggled, falling backwards.

"Come on B. I can't carry you," Serena pleaded but it didn't help. Blair was lying on the ground laughing at the whole scenario.

"I see your habits are rubbing off on her quit nicely," Chuck's voice bellowed from behind them. Serena spun around quickly, her eyes wide in surprise.

"What are you doing here Chuck?" she asked, taking a few steps toward him.

"I came to help with B. You know she doesn't have your tolerance, S." Chuck stated, walking past her and kneeling down to Blair.

"Chuck?" Blair asked, her eyes barely open. Chuck could tell she was obliterated and he shook his head, disappointed in Serena.

"Yeah, it's me baby. Look I'm gonna get you up and take you home okay?" He told her, putting his arm around her and lifting her up. Blair's body was limp but still light in his arms as he carried her to the open door. He put her in and motioned for Serena to follow. He climbed in last, sitting in the seat across from Blair.

"Chuck. I cant believe you're here," Blair slurred, trying to reach out for him. He stiffened at her touch as he looked down at her hand resting on his arm. "I'm so sorry… about everything," she told him, her voice cracking and tears welding up.

"Don't start crying, B." Chuck looked away, finding it hard to be looking at her in this state.

"Please," she begged, trying to crawl into his lap. Chuck placed his hand on her back as she started to fall backwards. "I feel like I lost you," she cried, her face slamming into his shoulder. He didn't know what to say and didn't embrace her like her normally would have.

"I'm here aren't I?" he replied coldly. Blair shook her head, touching his chest.

"You're not there though," she sobbed. Chuck looked away, not having the energy to deal with her.

"Her mom isn't home so I said she could stay with us until Sunday," Serena finally spoke. Chuck looked at her through squinted eyes. "What is your problem Chuck?" she asked, feeling his anger.

"My problem is that you're dragging my girlfriend out and turning her into you. Making her be the life of the party," he shot back, repeating Mikey's words. Serena laughed, shaking her head.

"Is that why you've been treating Blair like shit? Is because of what some guy said? I took her out tonight to try and forget about how much her boyfriend had been hurting her since she moved away to school. And how bad she's felt about herself since then. Sorry I was trying to be a good friend," Serena replied, tears actually slipping from her own eyes. "I'm just the screw up aren't I?" Chuck took a deep breath and looked down at Blair, who had passed out in his lap.

"You're not but you refuse to see your potential," he told her.

"Look Blair wasn't even drunk at the party Mikey was talking about so don't even worry about it. I'm not sure why he thought she was like of the party but don't take it out on her. Sophie told me that she could hear Blair crying herself to sleep most nights. Don't do this to her Chuck. She loves you so much and I know how much you love her too. How long you've loved her. Don't throw that away over your jealousy problems." Serena's words were rushed but hit Chuck hard. They were true. The limo pulled up to the Palace and Serena looked at him. "Do you want me to carry her up?" she asked, her voice soft.

"No. I got her," Chuck replied wrapping his arms around Blair.


	6. Chapter 6

Chuck sat on the edge of the bed, watching as Blair slept. She had just fallen asleep and he was relieved. She had thrown up 3 times since they had been back: once in the elevator all over Chuck's suite, once in the hallway outside Chuck's door and once in the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet. He had finally gotten her in bed with some crackers and water in her stomach.

"She sleeping?" Serena asked coming in behind him. Chucked looked over his shoulder at her nodded, looking back at Blair. "Look Chuck, I'm really sorry about tonight. This is all my fault, don't take it out on her," she added, standing in front of him.

"S, stop. Unless you forced alcohol down her throat it isn't your fault," he told her, brushing hair off of Blair's face. "I'm not mad. Not at you or her. I just don't know how to get things back on track and that's why I've been so frustrated. I never thought that I'd be sitting back watching her form a new life without me," he spoke, his voice deep.

"It doesn't have to be without you. Make yourself apart of the adventure. I wish I had someone back here loving me the way you love her," Serena whispered, placing her hand on Chuck's back. "You and her are like an epic love story."

"I didn't cheat on her, never have." Serena's met his and she nodded slowly. "I figured Blair would have told you about how she caught me with those two girls. I should have never taken them out but I knew I could land the deal better that way. I'm Chuck Bass. That's what they want. But I never cheated," he whispered, his voice sincere.

"I knew you didn't and so did she," Serena replied motioning towards Blair. "She gets just as insecure as you do. You have to remember that." Chuck nodded, slowly standing up.

"You should go to bed. It's almost 7." Chuck walked towards the door and Serena followed. He headed into the kitchen and poured himself a drink.

"It's a little early don't you think," Serena questioned, a small smirk on her face.

"Or, depending on how you look at it, it's really late," he replied, sipping the alcohol. Serena rolled her eyes but smiled.

"Night… brother." Serena smiled at him and Chuck nodded, looking at her.

"Goodnight… sister."

---

Blair woke to an empty bedroom as she tried to remember the events from the night before. Her head and stomach hurt and she knew that Chuck had been the one to put her in bed. She moaned, crawling out of bed and looking at the clock. **8:24**. She walked down the hall and into the living room where she saw Chuck laying on the couch. She sighed, realizing he must be angry with her if he wasn't sleeping in the bedroom. She made her way over to him and brushed his arm with her hand lightly. His eyes opened quickly and looked up at her groggily. She smiled weakly, meet his gaze.

"Are you okay?" He asked, sitting up and reaching out for her hand. She nodded, looking at the floor.

"Why didn't you sleep in the bed with me?" She asked hesitantly. Chuck pulled her into his lap and kissed the back of her shoulder.

"I accidently fell asleep out here," he answered, rubbing her back gently. "You should really go back to bed," He told her, pushing her and standing up. He took her hand and led her back to the bedroom, leading her straight to the bed. She climbed back and in and scooted over for him. Chuck smiled, noticing how vulnerable she looked. He climbed in next to her and wrapped his arms around her small frame.

"Chuck?" she asked after awhile of silence.

"Hmmm," he answered, half asleep.

"I'm really sorry." Chuck shifted his weight, pulling her closer and kissing her forehead.

"You aren't the one who should be sorry, I am," he told her, running his hand along her arm. Blair's body shivered under his touch. "I should have never pulled away from you the way I did. I love you baby," he whispered, kissing her shoulder. Tears streamed down Blair's face as she heard those famous words. "Why are you crying?" he asked softly.

"I thought I was never going to hear those words from you again," she cried, burying her head into his chest. "I thought I had lost you." Chuck shook his head, pulling her in close.

"You'll never lose me Blair. I will always be here. You are the girl I will spend the rest of my life loving," he told her, closing his eyes and promising himself to never break that vow.

---

**November**

"I'm going to miss you so much over break!" Sophie said, pulling Blair into a hug. Blair smiled, pulling away.

"We will see each other in 1 week!" Blair replied, going back to her side of the room to back her bag.

"Are you excited to be able to see Chuck everyday?" Sophie asked, plopping down on Blair's bed. Blair smiled, nodding her head as she folded her shirts.

"I can't wait!" Blair gushed, zipping her bag and grabbing her purse. "Have fun in the Hamptons! I'll see you in a week," Blair said putting her arms out, Sophie stepping into them. Blair pulled away and headed towards the door, pulling out her cell phone. It rang a few times then went to Chuck's voicemail.

"Hey baby, just letting you know I'm leaving now and I should be home in a few hours. I can't wait to see you. I love you," she said, closing her phone and exiting the dorm hall. She headed towards her car and froze in her spot when she saw Chuck standing a few feet away from her, leaning against her car. "Baby!" she yelled, running towards him, dropping her bags, and leaping into his arms. Chuck caught her and hugged her back, spinning her around. "What are you doing here?" she asked as he set her back down on her feet.

"I missed you," he told her, pulling her face into a kiss.

"So you came out here just to hug me?" she asked, pulling away and looking up at him. He smirked, nodding his head.

"I told my driver to go ahead and go. I'm going to ride back with you," he told her, brushing hair off her face.

"I told S I would pick her up from her class and drive her home too. I have her stuff in my car," Blair explained. Chuck nodded, picking up her bags and walking towards the trunk.

"S already left, in my limo," he told her, smiling. Blair beamed, jumping up and down like a little kid. "I do have one request though," he told her, placing his hands on her hip.

"What's that?" she asked.

"I get to drive home," Chuck told her with a smirk on his face. Blair slapped his arm playfully and pouted.

"I'm not that bad of a driver," she told him but handed him the keys anyways.

"I didn't say you were. I just want to get home in one piece," he replied, quickly dodging her slap and moving towards the car door.

---

"I should have known she wouldn't come home for Thanksgiving. I haven't seen her in almost 2 months," Blair said, crumpling up the note her mother left explaining her most recent absence. Chuck frowned, watching as Blair's face scrunched up, fighting back tears.

"Stay with me then," he said, reaching out and taking her hand into his. "I'm sure Lily would love for you to stay with us." Blair shrugged, looking down at the floor.

"I was just looking forward to a nice Thanksgiving after being away. I thought she would care enough to change any plans and be here for me," she explained. Chuck nodded, knowing the feeling all too well.

"I could fly you out to see her. I don't think the Bass jet is being used this week," he suggested, pulling out his phone. Blair shook her head quickly. Grabbing his hand.

"I just want to spend it with the people I care about, and you Chuck Bass…" she whispered, coming towards him, their lips almost touching. "are someone I care very, very, deeply about." She kissed him hard, her lips slamming against his.

"I'm sorry Miss Blair," Dorota screeched from the hallway. Blair pulled away quickly and looked up at her.

"No, no. Dororta. It's okay," Blair called as she began to walk away. Dorota stopped and smiled timidly. "I'm going to be staying at Chuck's over my break since my mom couldn't make it home. Why don't you spend a few days with your family too. No one should be alone during the holidays," Blair told her, smiling.

"Oh thank you Miss Blair," Dorota replied with a smirk. Chuck looked at Blair and smiled, truly never seeing her so happy. His plan for this break would go without a hitch.


End file.
